MIRROR WORK

Do you find that everyone seems to say the wrong things to you when you are grieving? Grief can be so debilitating that we can give into self-doubt and allow other people to have a tremendous impact on our mood. Others around us can tell us how to grieve, when to stop grieving, when to move on, when to let go and because we don’t feel good inside we start to take their messages on board. We hear the words of others and can sometimes allow them to colour our opinion of life and our opinion of ourselves. These conflicts can be very distressing and confusing and only add to our anguish. However, it is only when we allow the opinions of others into our soul that they can really have any long lasting effect on us.Once this happens, we then waste a lot of time and energy in trying to get our voice heard, for us to be right and others to be wrong, simply to prove that we are OK and that we are worthy, when most of us in fact feel we are not.

Recently I have been angry and upset with one person in my life and as I was brushing my teeth before bed one evening, I felt myself start to rehearse out loud what I would say to this particular person in an uncharacteristically unpeaceful manner. As I spoke, the anger grew. Then I looked up and continued my dissertation in the mirror. A moment passed and I felt myself gasp! Oh my goodness – I am actually telling myself all these horrible things! All the anguish this person had caused in me had built up within me until it came bubbling out in an angry tirade at myself instead of at the person who, in my opinion, deserved to hear it! But we can’t be unkind or angry with another without being unkind and angry with ourselves. We are all so intricately connected.

I once heard Deepak Chopra explain that “resentment is the poison we drink thinking it will harm our enemy”. This is exactly what I was doing mindlessly this Summer’s evening; filling my own heart up with bitterness and resentment, thinking by doing so I was making right a wrong done to me by someone else. Once I realised what I was doing I immediately cleared the air, waving my arms around flamboyantly in an attempt to clear bad energy away and then I started reciting my “I love you statements” to myself instead as I looked into my eyes reflected back to me in the mirror. I looked deep into my soul, slowly improving the buildup of angst I had just been creating, and replacing it with peaceful, “I am good enough as I am” kind of words, impressions and thoughts.

I decided in that moment that it was more important for me to be peaceful and self-loving than to be right and self-loathing. We hold ourselves apart from the peace we deserve in so many ways, by accepting the words of others as the truth, by giving into self doubt and by feeling guilty for the past but when we are grieving the loss of someone we love so much, sometimes the only way to get through is by thinking kind thoughts of ourselves and by giving ourselves a good dose of self-love. We need to remember that we did the best we could at the time.

I’d suggest taking a few minutes every morning and night to look into the mirror and say nice things to yourself. It works like magic in bringing your mood up. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. And no matter what anyone else may think of you, no matter what they may say about you, know with every ounce of your soul that you are good enough just as you are and you don’t need to prove it to anyone else but yourself. Lots of love. xx

I have a little book on amazon that may help ease your grief and uplift your spirits. It is 99 cents. Brightest blessings. Erica xx

 http://www.amazon.com/Soothe-your-soul-grief-inspiration-ebook/dp/B00GG630KE